procrastination

i m such a bad blogger. it has been 5 days since i came back from my cameron-genting trip and i have yet to post anything about it. blame it on the unstable connection at home. and my laziness *grins*

i promise there will be much more photos after i come back from jakarta. leaving tomorrow and returning on saturday. shopping spree!

and speaking about shopping, mummy bought the most gorgeous f21 bag ever! and it is for us to share! wheeee:D no pics tho, was too lazy, next time lah!

feast your eyes on this pic while waiting patiently for my return:) ciao. till after 28th!

hyper mode

the thing that doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

this thing is late-nights. so now, i am gonna have more late-nights over the weekend trip. won't be blogging for the next 4-5 days, so till 18th:)

the light at the end of the walkway

finally, i see some light at the end of the tunnel. er...in this case at the other end of my condo walkway. tomorrow will be my last paper, and i m free to sleep, eat, not study, shop, play, sleep and eat some more, or whatever things that i refrained from doing these weeks. sheesh. i feel old :(

anyways...wish me luck for research design and analysis paper tomorrow. er what is that u ask? it's all about statistics. which is really boring and tiring, seeing the overwhelmingly ridiculous amount of formulas that i have to cram into my tiny brain. do you know that brain size differ with body size? duno if it's true but there's this statement that i read from my rda notes. hah. my brain would only be the size of a pea then, considering my 5foot tall frame.

at least i can still humour myself i guess i m not so in a rut after all. have to remain calm and collected, calm and collected, calm and collected...

in another 17hours, she'll be a free(wo)man. she's happy but she still has a void-in-the-stomach feeling that she has not prepared enough although she has screened all the notes and self-test quizzes at least twice. each. phew that was a real mouthful. she has to think positive thoughts. like playing with dad's dslr in cameron on saturday :D

counting down

• 2 days to organizational psychology paper
• 5 days to rda paper *gulps*
• 5 days to freedom
• 6 days to this!

yes, cameron highlands, again :)
this, and genting highlands have been my only motivation throughout the exhaustive exam period.
can't wait!
oh yes, and shopping, hopefully!

that dream

in her dreams she was caught.
held captive by a faceless person,
dragged her from her waist from behind,
tied her arms at the wrist and left her to cry.

when she cried,
there were no tears.
when she screamed,
there was not a single sound.

the figure sat there in the rusty chair,
laughing,
with a beer bottle in his(?) hands,
laughing at her helplessness.
his(?) laughter had no sound too.
everything was in vacuum.

she felt her throat tightening,
the more she screamed for help and tried to free herself,
the more excruciating was the pain.
her throat was on fire,
her eyes like dried wells scorching hot in summer,
her head throbbing like a drum being hit
over and over and over...

then as sudden as it had happened,
all the pain ceased.
she opened her eyes and saw through her window
that it was raining heavily outside,
the streets below secluded and wet.
she looked at her reflection in the mirror
and was startled when she saw her pale, cracked lips.
she swallowed hardly,
a lump in her throat.

that was the scariest dream ever,
she shivered with that thought.
but somehow she felt emancipated,
liberated.
the pain was only temporary,
it's all gone now, it's all gone.

"that dream", blackhumour, 200911041504

maybe i have been so focused on mcp and foucault that after i finished the paper, all my stress on foucault's abstract arguments and liberation of actually finishing that paper manifested itself as this dream. except in the dream i was treated far worse than what i have written down. i was tortured, inhumanely. except yea, worse. 2 hours later, it still sends chills down my spine.

venting machine

source

isnt this the most hilarious image ever?
i was stressing over my communication readings just now and thought of venting it all out here. so, i went through my therapy folder and found this.

i am so stressed out. i need a break from foucault and his discursive, post-representational views on texts and what-nots. mcp should be called mpc -- Make People Cry, not Media Culture and Power. ugh.

ok. stop whining and start mugging. am done venting out. bye.